by Gerald Schoenewolf
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Quirky Romantic Comedy
A vertically challenged "beast" chases a tall "beauty" and wins her by
painting her bathroom magenta and gold.
What happens when an iressistible force (a midget with a kissing reflex)
meets an immovable object (a stubborn beauty with a dark secret)? Both
meet their match in this modern, somewhat twisted take on BEAUTY AND THE
Virgil, an aspiring New York poet and artist who happens to be a midget,
meets Lila, a beautiful tall visitor from Eastern Europe. He proceeds in
his bumbling way to try to woo her, but is handicapped by his phobia of
beautiful women, which causes him to have a “kissing reflex,” whereby he
attempts to hastily kiss and have sex with a beautiful woman “in fifteen
minutes” in order to allay his neurotic fears of rejection. Despite his
handicap he succeeds, after several weeks of wooing, in getting Lila to
bed, whereupon she turns out not to be so beautiful as he thought.
His despair at seeing
her “woolly mammaries” mortifies him, which turns Lila off and causes her
to run off with a girlfriend to Paradise Island. He shows up there
unannounced and confronts her on the beach, letting her know that “you
look great.” She ends up rebuffing him again. Finally, after yelling at
his mother on the phone, Virgil calms down and reaches a point of
“temporary sanity,” whereby he is able to engage in more mature
conversation with Lila and show her his caring and generous side by
painting her bathroom gold, magenta, and green. All ends happily as he
accepts her hairiness and she accepts his shortness and they make
passionate love in her newly painted metallic gold bathtub. This is a
twisted romantic comedy similar to Something About Mary.
I am a licensed psychoanalyst who has been writing for films for 10 years
and have completed seventeen screenplays. I recently won the
WriteMovies.com Winter 2005 screenwriting contest for my play FREUD IN
LOVE. I have produced and directed two of my scripts (on miniDVD), The
Interview and Therapy. Before writing screenplays I wrote and directed
stage plays in New York and Copenhagen. I have also published 12 books on
psychology and a handful of short fiction in Esquire, Translate Review,
North American Review, Prism International, Minetta Review and Cimarron
Review. I am listed in the International Who’s Who of Authors.
Film: This is a very funny, quirky story like Something About
Mary--with an original twist (a romance between a midget and tall beauty).
The screenplay is written.