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Submission Synopsis

Lila's Bathroom

by Gerald Schoenewolf

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Quirky Romantic Comedy

A vertically challenged "beast" chases a tall "beauty" and wins her by painting her bathroom magenta and gold.

What happens when an iressistible force (a midget with a kissing reflex) meets an immovable object (a stubborn beauty with a dark secret)?  Both meet their match in this modern, somewhat twisted take on BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.

Virgil, an aspiring New York poet and artist who happens to be a midget, meets Lila, a beautiful tall visitor from Eastern Europe.  He proceeds in his bumbling way to try to woo her, but is handicapped by his phobia of beautiful women, which causes him to have a “kissing reflex,” whereby he attempts to hastily kiss and have sex with a beautiful woman “in fifteen minutes” in order to allay his neurotic fears of rejection.  Despite his handicap he succeeds, after several weeks of wooing, in getting Lila to bed, whereupon she turns out not to be so beautiful as he thought. 

His despair at seeing her “woolly mammaries” mortifies him, which turns Lila off and causes her to run off with a girlfriend to Paradise Island.  He shows up there unannounced and confronts her on the beach, letting her know that “you look great.”  She ends up rebuffing him again.  Finally, after yelling at his mother on the phone, Virgil calms down and reaches a point of “temporary sanity,” whereby he is able to engage in more mature conversation with Lila and show her his caring and generous side by painting her bathroom gold, magenta, and green.  All ends happily as he accepts her hairiness and she accepts his shortness and they make passionate love in her newly painted metallic gold bathtub.  This is a twisted romantic comedy similar to Something About Mary.

I am a licensed psychoanalyst who has been writing for films for 10 years and have completed seventeen screenplays.  I recently won the Winter 2005 screenwriting contest for my play FREUD IN LOVE.  I have produced and directed two of my scripts (on miniDVD), The Interview and Therapy.   Before writing screenplays I wrote and directed stage plays in New York and Copenhagen.  I have also published 12 books on psychology and a handful of short fiction in Esquire, Translate Review, North American Review, Prism International, Minetta Review and Cimarron Review.  I am listed in the International Who’s Who of Authors.

Film: This is a very funny, quirky story like Something About Mary--with an original twist (a romance between a midget and tall beauty).

The screenplay is written.


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